Words of wisdom and miscellaneous facts by Dr. Wysong and others.
This is an accumulation over several decades and the accuracy cannot be attested to.
33. BLAMING THE PARENTS
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12/13/2019
​Having children brings responsibility. That responsibility is to provide for their needs until they are capable of taking care of themselves. If your parents did this for you, they did their job. If they did not and you are now an adult, then what does it matter?
But no, therapists' offices are filled not only with young adults, but people in their 50's and beyond moaning about how they were potty trained too early, once got a spanking, lived through a divorce, or weren't loved as much as siblings. Rodney Dangerfield lamented, "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." We need to get over it, get a life, take control and responsibility. A salesman stuck in an elevator for a day can complain, get angry, blame everyone and everything, and call his psychotherapist on the cell phone—or determine to sell the elevator operator a new Cadillac before the door opens. Parents are not the cause of our failures, we are. We are free moral entities who must make the choice to have a good life and then get at it. There are people who rise up out of far more miserable and oppressed circumstances than ours, no matter what they were. Many successful adults never had active parents in their lives at all. Some people were forced into factories when they were tiny children to help the family survive. Starving, diseased, abused, and crippled children have found a way to earn a PhD, head successful companies, contribute to society, rear their own children, and have a fulfilling marriage. Parents don't make or destroy us.
​We can also look at it this way. Without adversity, pain, and suffering it is very difficult to grow. If sympathy is to be extended, it should go to those who have been excessively sheltered and pampered by parents. Having a mommy wiping our nose into adulthood sets us up for failure in the real world, not success. Life is tough. Getting eased into it as children girds us for the heavy licks we all experience as adults.
If we don't like the way our parents treated us, then we should be thankful for the lessons learned about what not to do. Their failure can be our success if we set about forgiving them and taking responsibility for building our own happy life and family.
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12/13/2019
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Introduction
1. We Can Agree 2. Possibility Thinking 3. The Solver Principles 4. Our Owner's Manual 5. We Live in A Unique Time 6. Being Health Smart 7. The Illusion of Youth Health 8. The Good Old Days 9. Timing Life 10. Exercise 11. Hormones and Steroids - A Two-Edged Sword 12. The Female Hormone Problem 13. Growing Older 14. Squaring the Curve 15. Healthy Dos and Don'ts 16. The Medical Profession 17. The Greatest Threat to Health 18. Don't Surrender to Medical Care 19. But We Live Longer Today 20. Dollars Don't Make Health 21. Disease Does Not Strike Us 22. Germs Don't Cause Disease We Do 23. From Where Does Healing Come 24. The Best Food 25. Food Ethics 26. Healthy Weight 27. Healthy Eating Ideas 28. First Things First 29. Hopelessness 30. Depression 31. Memories 32. Addiction 33. Blaming the Parents 34. Surviving Tragedy 35. Touch 36. Music as Healer 37. Humor 38. Pets as Life Savers 39. Pet Keeping - A Serious Responsibility 40. The Myth of 100 Complete Pet Foods 41. Feeding Pets as Nature Intended 42. Industry vs. Earth 43. Population 44. Modernity's Deception 45. Animal Rights 46. Biophilia 47. Respect for All Life 48. Doing Good With Business 49. The Global Economy 50. The Power of Money 51. Financial Affairs 52. Work as Friend 53. Government 54. The End of Civilization 55. Freedom Is Not Equality 56. Sex 57. Being in Love 58. Marriage - The Union of Opposites 59. Divorce 60. The Family Nest 61. Having Babies 62. Children 63. The Empty Nest 64. Experience 65. Education 66. Life Is Uncertain 67. Things Mound Up 68. Murphy's Law 69. Life's Predictability 70. Finding Home 71. Learn From History 72. Shaping the Future 73. The Other Line Always Moves Faster 74. Little Things Add Up 75. Growing Up 76. Alone 77. Hope 78. Paying the Success Price 79. Change A Wonderful Thing 80. Being the Best You Can Be 81. Do Something, Something Happens 82. Change the World 83. Growing Good People 84. Words 85. Genius 86. Listen and Learn 87. Mind Over Matter 88. Looking Good 89. Protecting Yourself 90. Self Sufficiency 91. Life Is Math 92. Ethics 93. Conscience 94. The Long View 95. Being Real 96. Change 97. End and Beginning |