According to television commercials, a man is supposed to have a wooly pate, six-pack abdomen, and Adonis features. A woman should be buxom, svelte, made-up, in the latest fashion, and puffy-lipped.
 
Let's put looks in perspective. Do people really care that much about how we look? Are other people thinking about us, or really only thinking about how they compare to us? Does our appearance preoccupy the minds of others? Do we spend time thinking about how others look? If not, why should they be spending time thinking about how we look?
 
This is not to say some care and grooming are not in order. We have a responsibility to present our possessions to the world in a neat and clean condition. Our yard should be cared for (there are even ordinances to that effect), the home should be in order, and our person should be presentable. The personal care I'm talking about is the basic care that makes a person look 99% as good as they can look. Unfortunately our narcissistic culture spends billions of dollars and countless hours in anguish fussing and primping to achieve that other 1%.
 
The majority of our beauty is inherent. It has to do with bone structure, proportions, how we carry ourselves, our demeanor, intelligence, and personality. It is who we are, not the façade we create. Ovid said: "When the disposition charms, the features are pleasing." Athenaeus concluded: "Beauty when unadorned is adorned the most."
 
Think about it. Have you come to know and love anyone because of the amount of his or her hair, bicep size, eyeliner, or silicone? Window dressing may turn a few more heads but will never be the cause of an important or lasting relationship. Superficial and fake window dressing is not why we are attracted to others, so why would we think it would be the reason they are attracted to us?
 
Take the before and after commercials of men with and without hair. Of course all the gals just can't keep their eyes and hands off the guy with the gorgeous mop. The balding guy is presented as pathetic, doomed to a lonely life without hope of any possible relationship. Really? Why then are just as many guys without hair in contented relationships as those with hair? As opposed to the commercials, in real life do we see the mate to the hairy guy adoringly running her hands through his hair and just unable to keep her eyes off his curly locks? Notice how before and after photos of men with and without hair look like the same person. One does not look younger than the other and one is not more handsome. Women swoon over Sean Connery with or without his toupees.
 
Before getting too excited about remodeling yourself to perfection, keep in mind that facelifts, implants, liposuction, and drugs are not without medical risks. A little cosmetic 'tune-up' could result in a lifetime of misery and disfigurement.

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​Creative hair parting and obvious plugs, make-up that could paint a barn, plastic surgery scars like tree-rings, and facelifts that look like they could shatter with a sneeze, run the risk of drawing attention to the very thing one is trying to conceal, insecurity. This is not to say that things that bother us should not be fixed or improved. Why let a two-inch cyst rest on the end of the nose that obscures vision and distracts everyone around you? But everything in moderation. Plastic surgery can give peace of mind if expectations are realistic. But some get addicted and take it to its extremes. The results can end up gaining attention for the wrong reasons—people look at us not because we look so good, but because we look plastic and shallow.

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​Real beauty and attractiveness is without device and has to do with who we really are inside and what we make of ourselves. Being the best person we can be is cheap, safe, lasting, and honest. The most beauty we can ever achieve comes from staying in shape, being healthy, grooming in moderation, growing the mind, and reaching out with love and compassion to others. Make the most of time in this way, and time will return the compliment.